Hi Beloveds,

I just ordered a soda for the first time in 25 years. Wow.

I wanted it. I'm sitting on a flight to NYC. I haven't been there in 25 years either.

I have a free drink coupon which gets me the expensive booze, but I no longer drink alcohol - although I did drink one of the bottles of New Glarus beer I bought last minute for my birthday party while staying in Wisconsin last month.

So what would I order? My go-to is the sparkling water. I had already asked for hot water to fill my travel mug to steep some tea.

Some calories would be helpful as I'm traveling all day and I hate wasting money on expensive airport food.

“I want a Dr. Pepper.”

“I want a Dr. Pepper?”

I feel like I'm having an existential moment. I observe myself wanting a Dr. Pepper. I’m confused.

"But you don't drink those anymore," I rationalize, although they were my favorite soda back when I did imbibe those sugary, caffeinated concoctions.

"Should I really get one?"

"What if I don't feel good?”

There's a reason that I stopped. It's one of the many small decisions and steps I've made over the years that has led to folks, even strangers, announcing - like one did at Grocery Outlet last night - “You’re so healthy!"

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Such decisions are small things, but then again they're not. I am significantly more healthy by that small decision to discontinue drinking sodas. My life is more simple and pure.

Would I be turning my back on myself, letting myself down to order a Dr. P? I hadn't faced this struggle in so long, because the habit is so robust.

But desire in and of itself isn't bad, nor is the action of drinking a Dr. Pepper bad.

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Being right, or rather struggling to be right, is something I struggle with. I'm learning how focusing on being right is a barrier to health.

But I do want to be wise! I want to make good decisions. I want to be healthy. And I really love feeling good. (I think healthy living means feeling good!)

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I mulled all this over.

I remembered to listen to my desires and practice curiosity and reflection.

Making mistakes is a key way to learn. If I ordered the Dr. Pepper, I would get some more data. I have plenty of data on what it feels like not to drink it (I feel quite good - my sleep, blood sugar, and dentist agree).

Realizing I really wanted that Dr. Pepper and remembering my comical rule - "There's only one way to find out!", I placed my ordered.

And wow, did it go down easy! I savored each sip as it passed through my lips and over my tongue.

So far, no regrets, although I do think I feel a slight jittery-ness, which when I pause to consider I don't like. (I like feeling like me and the jittery is not me but the drugs - caffeine/sugar combo - in the beverage.)

Why did I suddenly want the soda? I don't know. Perhaps my body remembers NYC and knows I had Dr. Pepper there decades ago with a jaw-dislocating three inch thick sandwich or folded slice of pizza.

Whatever the reason, I remembered my body can be trusted and following its guidance gives me an opportunity to know myself better.

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Reflection is an essential aspect of learning.

Try something and then pay attention to what happens. Make note and decide if you would do the same thing again, or if you'd rather make a different choice next time. Repeat the process the next time and with the next thing. With time you will learn how to be healthy.

You will learn if that specific action was really what your body was longing for or if you misinterpreted the signal.

Thanks for this lesson, Dr. P.

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May you always see the blessing.

-esb

P.S. - Thanks for being here. What’s been meaningful to you?

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