Oh The People You Meet: Hugging Strangers at Gas Stations

Beloveds,

There's a first time for everything. Today's first was hugging a stranger at the gas station.

But she was no stranger. She was my sister - the Black woman I had never met who pulled in quickly but cautiously at the pump next to mine, window down.

Still seated in her car, she reached out: "Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you, but I felt I could because you're a woman."

And then it began. She was asking to be seen in her need. I'm so grateful to have been present enough to see her. Immediately I saw her need. No walls arose.

"Do you have an money to spare? He's...

....I only have one more day...

...I don't know what to do...

...I need to get something to eat."

I came to her window so she wouldn't have to call out to me. 

"I can look to see what cash I have. I'm not sure I have any on me."

"Of course, who does these days," she sheepishly replied.

"I might have some change. Let me see."

I searched in my purse past receipts, sunglasses, and was excited to find a $20 bill to share. I quickly brought it to her, to her tearful delight.

"Would you like a hug?" I offered. She immediately open her car door, but not before saying: "Yes, ma'am, but I probably smell."

We embraced and I could feel her tentativeness. I invited her to squeeze harder. She did. Again including a "yes, ma'am."

I told her the things I've been telling myself, passed down from a lineage of love. "You are invincibly precious. No one and nothing can change that."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Stop ma'aming me."

"Sorry."

"Let me see if I can find more. I know I have some coins."

"That would be great, ma'am. I'm nearly out of gas."

"You ma'amed me again. We're sisters. I've been having a hard time too. Things aren't going to always be this way."

I found some hygiene things, water, and a flashlight in my well-stocked car. "Would you like these?"

More tears. "Yes, how did you know? How do you have this all in your car? Thank you, ma'am."

"My name is Elle. What's your name?"

"Ranita."

"Touch some grass and a tree. Thank you for asking for help."

She drove away in her dented black sedan.

I returned the gas pump handle and drove away the opposite direction, heart swelling from this unexpected, heaven-sent connection. 

What a gift Ranita gave me. She saw me, a stranger, yet knew me and trusted me. She dared to let herself be seen, in her deep need. She dared ask for help. She dared to be touched.

For a brief time, I knew I belonged in this world. For a time, I knew that my actions and presence mattered. Thank you, Ranita, for introducing yourself at the Amaco station on Milwaukee Street. 

May you always see the blessing.

-esb.

1. What’s your most meaningful gas station interaction?

2. Are you good at asking for help?

3. Do you believe you can improve someone’s day or life by asking for help?

4. When’s the last time you asked a stranger for help?

May you always see the blessing,

-esb

P.S. - Thanks for being here. I’d love to hear how you’re doing!

P.P.S. - The art and information in these emails is my copyright, unless otherwise indicated/credited.

P.P.P.S. - Interested in more about dreams? I’ve recorded a LYHL Podcast episode on the Two Types of Dreams (and I did it out in nature). Link below! Oh yeah, in the podcast I reference my I.L.Y. merchandise is available on RedBubble accessible —> here.