Truer Face

They had been traveling some time by the time they replied with pictures. Had it been several months? Half a year? Their travel was only possible because of their life unraveling to the point of no return. It is these seasons, that afford begrudging people the blessed opportunity to unravel into the deepest layers of themselves, in places like Italy, Colombia, Hawaii, and western Canada.

They had been withdrawing and withdrawing - the sort of withdrawing that gives you pause to consider that perhaps your relationship is evolving to the point of ending.

My internal compass had guided to allow the space - to not resist. But they would pop into my head and my knowing told me to gently reach out, even after months went by to offer my availability and to acknowledge my perception of their need for space. I sent an invitation of connections, if they desired, but that I planned to follow their lead, unless told otherwise.

Today on this solstice - they surprisingly initiated contact, sharing insightful words from a beloved poet. I responded and tested the waters. We went on a few times/hour, lobbing little replies back and forth.

Then it happened. They shared nature photos, including two with their solo portrait. The first showed a contentment in the midst of sadness; there was less tension in their face. The second reveals wild, wide smile, pulling their skin back for a lined, yet taut face.

"How would I respond to this lob of hers?" I mused - knowing very well words matter, but also that presence matters more.

The words came to me but they were true and they were loving, so I nervously, but quickly shared: "You face looks truer," adding that I meant it as highly complimentary.

They replied that they can feel their body and face relaxing, and it's wild how they not only feel, but look different.

I want a true face.

Questions for Contemplation:

• How about you? Do you want a true face?

• What can we learn from our faces?

• How do you know when to lean in and pull back in a relationship?

• How are you willing to share your expectations in relationship with others?

May you always see the blessing.

-esb

P.S. - Thanks for being here. I’d love to hear how you’re doing & what you’re learning!

P.P.S. - All the art in these newsletters is mine, unless otherwise specified.

P.P.P.S. - I’m working on getting the song “Holy Night” in my pocket, so I can play whenever I have access to a guitar. I’d love to get it decent enough for even a rough recording to share, but so many chord changes and vocally challenging!