Grumpy Mood

Beloveds,

I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed, but it didn’t take long before I found myself griping about life - the dogs, the computer program that wasn’t working how I wanted it to, the dishes I hadn’t yet done .

My last post was really long (thanks for reading it!); I think today’s will be short.

The post I was wanting to share isn’t working out. I feel discouraged at my progression this week - with spreading the LYHL word and creating a LYHL world.

I’ve had a number of things that have been energetically consuming and emotionally shifting. I’ve had appointments that feel tedious, challenging, and shift me out of my routine - the routine that is fledgeling as best as I enter this next phase of life.

Maybe you can relate to this?

I get easily overwhelmed when circumstances are harder than anticipated. My neurodivergence can make seemingly easy decisions about organizing a day, scheduling things, or following through on schedules very different.

I can get stuck. Then the getting stuck makes me feeling bad that I’m not following my plan, that I’m not getting things done, and that I’m not communicating - well or at all.

So today, I offer this - a meager, honest offering of - we’re doing this. My last post recounting a dynamic, heart-warming day that emerged because: “I was (t)here for it.”

Doing our best will look different day to day.

We are doing our best, right? I’ve learned so much about being kind to myself, but honestly I like feeling good - all of the time. When I don’t, I’m hard on myself. When I freeze, I sense a disconnection to others. I feel foreign, unrelatable, and wrong.

I’m showing up offering myself to you today, beloved, even though I’m not sure if this is a good post. But LYHLing requires showing up to life as you are and as I am. So here I am fumbling through these past few days, uncertain if the next few will be any different.

Questions for Contemplation:

• How do you respond when things don’t go your way?

• What triggers you to be grumpy?

• What do you know about neurodivergence?

• How do you move through feelings of overwhelm?

May you always see the blessing, beloveds.

-esb

P.S. - Thanks for being here. I’d love to hear how you’re doing!

P.P.S. - All the art in these newsletters is mine, unless otherwise specified.

P.P.P.S. - I’m a photographer and I sell fine art prints. If you peek here, you’ll see a small portion of my catalogue.